DFPizzle

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Inner bloggings

There are lots of reasons not to start a blog:

1. Now not only do your friends have to remember your birthday (thank you, facebook), they have to "follow" you or risk listening to you whine about going unread.

2. You have to return everyone's phone calls. And write thank-you notes. If you have time to write a blog, you have time to call Nana back.

3. Carpal tunnel. Painful. Avoidable, sans blog.

4. You risk uncovering, word by word, the real truth that your life is boring.

5. You risk uncovering, word by word, that your life is entertaining, but that you just cannot write.

6. Despite all your tedious efforts to change "Dan's" name to "Roberto," Dan/Roberto will still find out you wrote about his halitosis for all 3 of your followers to cringe at and Dan/Roberto will never speak to you again. Which in this case, might be a win. But you never know.

7. The self-importance of your own words readily available on the interwebs goes to your head in such a way that if a post were to say get deleted by a clumsy 7th grader who knocked your computer off your desk (5/17/2011), you would feel like some epic piece of literature was lost. Cue writers block and deep depression.

8. Typos. Everyone makes them. Smart people judge you for them. "Whiskey" becomes "wiskey" by one swift miss of the "h" key and the judgement begins. Cue writers block and deep depression.

Lucky for the world of online journalism, I have decided to jump these nearly insurmountable hurdles and go forth. Mostly because the great LEL (initials not changed for the purpose of perpetuating her online celebrity) has recently returned to writing. In addition to chuckling at her entries whilst hard at work during my prep period, I have felt like LEL and I have been hanging out. Like we've spent seriously bonding time together - she writes, I laugh, I talk to the screen to reciprocate the storytelling - it's all very natural. Anyway, I want that. Because maybe, just maybe, someday someone will talk to their computer screen in my honor. A girl can dream.

And the truth of the matter is that even if I fail to capture the constantly available humor and irony in being a mostly awkward, clumsy twenty-something engaged in numerous online-dating mishaps, cooking disasters and blooming gym-instigated friendships, the humor in teaching is undeniable. If nothing else, I could make whole entries of student quotes - not a change a word - and this would be humor enough. I cannot promise I will always keep my creative license holstered, but it's a solid fall-back plan.

Mostly I am starting a blog because I really like the sound my keyboard makes and I love creating hyphenated adjectives. Seriously.

Here goes nothing but time and potentially-hindered typing dexterity...

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